I tried doing this post yesterday but I was not emotionally stable enough. I have a lump in my throat and my heart is aching. I cannot believe summer is over already and that my tan is fading. Alexis is a 2nd grader and Lilly started kindergarten yesterday. I cannot believe Lilly is already a Kindergartner (why do they have to make kindergarten all day?)!!!! First of all, I KNOW all the answers! Yes...it is "only" 7 hours, Yes...she is going to love it, yes...she is ready. Yes...I have prayed over her. Yes...she happy. Yes... I have to let her grow up sometime. Yes... I will enjoy my time alone with Jack. Yes...it will be nice to have some more time to myself. BUT!!!!that doesn't seem to make it better. I missed seeing her face today in my rear view mirror singing her heart out as I drove to work. I missed her sitting down with me for lunch. I miss watching her and Jack play together and how sweet she is to him. I miss seeing her wave to me as I was teaching aerobics today. I miss her giggle. I missed my shopping buddy and fashion consultant as I ran errands, I missed her hugs and kisses, I simply miss her and Alexis's presence in our home. I miss everything! I am an emotional mess! Why is this letting go thing so hard??? I will tell you why...because I have spent everyday for the last 5 years with her. I pray that my girls know how much we love them and that they are daughters of a Heavenly Father loves them. I pray that they will find good friends and make good choices. I pray that they will remember their manners and make me proud. I pray that they will find happiness and joy in this life. But today, I mostly pray that this lump in my throat and ache in my heart will go away. I pray the tears will dry up and that I can find joy in this new season and phase of my life. The blessing is that when we miss someone it means we love them, and that is what provides me comfort. I feel blessed to be a mother and for the time I have been able to spend with my children. I am blessed because I love them and I know that they love me. Jack better learn to shop....Quick!
How stinkin cute are the 'brown nose' buckets we made. I am all about a little brown nosing.
Yes, I followed the bus!
Mrs. Moses (best teacher ever!!!) So glad we got her.
"Okay Mom....stop crying! You're embarrassing me!"
Never mind the red eyes and puffy face. I made an idiot of myself.
12 comments:
I know exactly how you feel when my youngest started school I felt "lost". Thank God for summers and lots of breaks throughout the year! She is my shopping buddy, my craft queen, and seriously one of my best friends. I can't believe she is 11 yrs. old now and in the 6th grade. It gets easier I promise, and it makes the time we do have together that more precious. Paula
I am sorry that it's so hard, personally I hate any big changes, and I think not having someone around for 7 hours of the day counts as a big change to your day to day routine.
Oh man I feel the lump in my throat creeping back up. We have to find some projects...
...good night, i don't even have kids and I EVEN got a lump in my throat reading this! Sheesh! i want to read the post when they are saying "I do" at an alter one day! LOL seriously, you've got some of the most loving, respectful, ADORABLE little kids and you and Bill are doing a great job with them! Seeing them @ water aerobics always made me smile with their little bows and Jacks swinging arms as he ran for a "tackle." I'm beginning to think they need to have "Day school for mommies" too or something to keep you all occupied or something. lol...i can only HOPE and PRAY one day I'll experience that same lump in my throat as I'm sending off kiddos of my own. If the lump is what I have to experience to enjoy the joys of my own family one day - I say bring it on kleenex, tears and heart pain! I WANT THAT JOY!
And you know the worst part? It never gets easier.
Sorry you are sad today. Seeing her come home from school will make it all worth while. ♥♥♥
Did Cheryl just say it DOESN"T get easier???? Bummmmmmmmer......
I feel ya girl.
It kills me to think about my youngest going to school. And my oldest has left us both a huge hole in his wake.
I'm glad your first day is over. It is the hardest.
Boys in my experience hate Hobby Lobby. I have no idea what you are going to do!
I feel for you. I'm missing Logan now that he goes all day. Hang in there. If Logan wasn't so stinking happy after school every day I would have to keep him home.
awwwww. I'm sorry it's so hard!! I'm right there with you! I'm having a hard time too, with Allison gone.
You are such an amazing mom!
Love your post! So true that it is so hard to see our little ones grow up but so rewarding. I will be right there with you next year when Leyton goes to Kindergarten - I don't even want to think about it! I cried this year leaving the girls and Maryn is only at school for 3 hours! Hang in there and have some fun mommy/son time. :)
Ohhhh, I can't take it, I really can't!! Thinking of and loving you!!!
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